Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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