I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
