Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
