So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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