I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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