im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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