I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
