I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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