ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
