So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
