YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
this is an emotional support booty call
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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