You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
