I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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