I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm getting married
To pizza
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
