come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
