don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
