you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize