Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
