Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
