North Korea, Best Korea!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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