grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
