too bad you live with your parents still
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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