Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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