He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
