Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
