I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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