I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
