he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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