just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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