Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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(845): View more from New York

im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to

(1-845): View more from New York

i wanted you to too

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i always forget guys have bellybuttons

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(503): View more from Oregon

you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub

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(706): View more from Georgia

So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.

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(314): View more from Missouri

not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now

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(208): View more from Idaho

If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.

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(630): View more from Illinois

So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"

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