dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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