Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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