i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
