idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
