You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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