So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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