Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
