Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
