How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize