i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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