He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
