BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
