You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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