So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
