Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
