I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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