she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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