I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
