should my penis look like a turkey
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
