Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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