This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize