Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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