"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize