It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
