i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
